Sometimes I wonder if it was all a dream.
I’d walk through the halls alone, always with my head down, never looking them in the eye. Maybe I was afraid they’d see too far into my soul.
Nobody ever saw into me. They only ever saw through me.
It was fear that guided me, fear that blinded me, fear that trapped me.
My solitude lasted to the end of those years. I felt like a ghost in their world. I almost believed they could feel a chill whenever I walked by.
I watched them grow and blossom into such interesting people. I knew their stories, their values, their hopes and their fears. I knew everyone’s name. Did anyone know mine?
I realized my mistake too late. I should have been brave. I should have reached out. I should have said hello every day, and asked how they were, and spent time with them any chance I had.
I should have tried to be part of their world. Instead, I chose to be invisible.
So don’t make the same mistake I did. Be brave. Live life. Choose to be seen.
Youth passes like a dream. Those who live it gain friendships and experience to take into the real world, while all that’s left for the invisible is to someday flip through a senior yearbook and scribble on the blank signature page that one question that will haunt them for years…
Did I ever exist?