What My Parents Taught Me About Love

by | May 6, 2015 | Blog, Creative Writing | 2 comments

When it comes to writing romance, I tend to draw a lot from personal knowledge and experience. Though I have lived a few interesting stories of my own, the truth is that I learned most of what I know about love from my parents. They’ve been my inspiration for as long as I can remember, and they’re the reason I have so much faith in love today. My love stories feature healthy relationships and happy endings because that’s the reality I grew up witnessing every single day.

So what are the secrets to writing a love that’s true? Here are a few tips I learned from my parents that I love to implement as much in my stories as in my personal life. I hope you can learn some valuable lessons from them too! Enjoy!

1) The best kind of love blossoms from friendship.

LovebirdsAnyone who has read at least a few of my romantic stories has no doubt noticed that most of the love I write grows between characters who start out as friends. My parents met well before they got together, and I think the reason they get along so well today is because they’ve known from the very beginning that they have enough in common to make things work. Not too much, of course, but that’s where the next piece of advice comes in…

2) The key to everlasting love is mutual respect.

As alike as they seem sometimes, my parents are two very different people. My mom is soft-spoken and attentive, while my dad is loud and passionate. The key to their successful relationship is that they never try to impose elements of their personalities on each other, but rather appreciate each other’s strengths and accept their differences as the dynamic that keeps their marriage interesting. In other words, they avoid making that common married-couple mistake of trying to change each other. Not that they don’t learn from one another, of course, but when they do, it’s thanks to their intelligence and willingness to each be the best spouse the other deserves, which makes for a much healthier kind of relationship. They’ve become better people together not because they felt obligated to, but because they wanted to.

3) It’s important that you make each other laugh. Always.

When I think back on all the times I’ve noticed my parents interacting, I realize that I’ve heard them laugh much more often than I’ve heard them argue. Even when I’d overhear them getting upset about something, it would never take too long for one of them to say something silly that would start them both laughing about the whole thing. And I’m certain that’s what’s kept them together to this day. If I’ve learned anything from observing my parents’ relationship my whole life, it’s that love is only worth holding onto if it brings you much greater joy than sorrow. This may be the most important piece of advice my dad ever gave us: if you’re not laughing anymore, it’s time to jump ship.

4) Marry someone you love talking to.

Something else I’ve always noticed about my parents’ relationship is that they talk to each other about almost everything. Maybe it’s because they have similar yet distinct ways of thinking, so they’re usually interested in what the other has to say. Occasional difficulties in listening aside (mostly on my father’s part), my mom and dad have always been on the same page when it comes to communication. Of course, this made it nearly impossible for me and my sisters to get away with anything, but that just helped us to grow up as well-disciplined and happy children. That’s another important lesson we learned from our parents: to maintain a healthy relationship, communication is a must.

5) Learn to let the little things go and just enjoy life!

Keep Calm and Love ForeverThis advice technically applies to anyone, but it’s especially important for committed couples. If you and your significant other get hung up on every little thing in your relationship that upsets you, you’re eventually going to drive each other crazy. That’s why my mom and dad never get stuck on minor issues for very long. When it comes to their arguments, they’re more about the “forgive and forget” philosophy, because they know that in the long run, those little spats are not worth stressing over. Instead, they focus on the important things, they support each other through thick and thin, and they make the most of each other’s company to just enjoy life. Can you really imagine a more perfect love than that?

These are the lessons about love that I’ve learned from my parents, and I’m grateful to them every day for the example they’ve set for my sisters and me. I only hope to experience a love like theirs throughout my life, but for now, I’ll keep using it as inspiration for my romantic fiction, as I hope you can too. Good luck! Thanks for reading!

Dedicated to my parents, the happiest couple I know. Thank you for teaching me what true love really is. Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! I love you!

Word of the Week: Obsequious

by | May 4, 2015 | Blog, Word of the Week | 0 comments

Word: obsequious

Pronunciation: əb-SEE-kwee-əs

Part of Speech: adjective

Definition: obedient or attentive to an excessive or servile degree

Source: Oxford Dictionaries

Jamie: What do you mean you told him not to go out with me?

Ira: What do I know? I met you one time; you kept showing off your vocabulary!

Jamie: [to Paul] You never told me he didn’t like me.

Paul: Because you were so down on him, I didn’t want to fuel the fire.

Ira: Wait, wait, wait, you didn’t like me?

Jamie: On first impression, you were a little obsequious.

Ira: You see? There, you’re doing it again!

– Mad About You (Season 3, Episode 19 – Money Changes Everything)

The first instance in which I can remember hearing the word “obsequious” was in an episode of Mad About You. During an argument over one of Ira’s bad decisions, Jamie finds out that he initially disliked her for her pretentious use of advanced vocabulary. To make matters worse, she proves his point by calling him out on his overeagerness to please in the most patronizing way possible. But then again, knowing Ira, there’s always the chance Jamie simply used “obsequious” in place of “obnoxious”, either purposely to confuse him or by mistake because her husband’s cousin did have a tendency to be irritating in more ways than one.

An “obsequious” person is someone who is attentive or obedient to the point of excess. The word arose in the late 15th century as a non-depreciatory term and comes from the Latin noun obsequium, meaning “compliance”. This noun is derived from the verb obsequi, which means “to follow” or “to yield to”.

I have yet to work the word “obsequious” into my fiction, but I could definitely see myself using it to describe some of my characters who go out of their way to please others. Although the word didn’t originally have a negative connotation, its modern definition seems to suggest a level of obedience that borders on annoying, which I suppose makes it a sort of formal synonym for “kiss-ass”. If you tend to write characters who are relentless people-pleasers, “obsequious” may be an excellent adjective to use in your stories. With any luck, you may even teach your readers a new word!

Jamie: [muttering] Plenty of people use “obsequious”.

What are your thoughts on this word? Any suggestions for future “Word of the Week” featured words?

Math Test

by | May 1, 2015 | Flash Fiction, J.C. Wolfe's Writing | 2 comments

(What If? Exercise: Read the description here.)

Ms. Miller listened absently to the ticking of the clock, the only sound left in the classroom after her students simultaneously lowered their heads. Every last millisecond used to count, she remembered as she gazed longingly at the silver medal on her desk. Funny how a single leg injury could change everything.

—

Mary scribbled on her test paper as if she were deciphering a secret code for the military. Her father promised he would take her out for ice cream if she passed the semester with straight A’s. She was beginning to wonder if he would ever come back and make good on that promise, but for now, her only concern was mastering algebra.

—

Jane subconsciously snapped her pencil in half when she saw Michael staring at Laura’s behind. How silly she had been to think that pen-dropping incident was their special moment. He could beg all he wanted; she wasn’t helping him cheat this time.

—

As always, the numbers sat there quietly and encouraged George like puzzle pieces falling into place under his pencil. They never bullied him, or yelled at each other in front of him, or got drunk and beat him until he cried. George realized then why he loved math so much: it was the only thing in his life that made any sense.

—

By the time the bell rang and Johnny handed in his test, only half the problems had answers, and he knew half of those were wrong. In the hallway, he whistled a merry tune as he crossed paths with the cute girl who was a year behind him. Maybe next year, he would finally get to sit next to her.

These pieces are based on What If? Exercise 97: “Nanofictions”. The exercise is to write five flash fiction pieces of three sentences each, which may or may not be connected by a common detail. The objective is to understand how to focus immediately on a troubled situation and learn how to identify the details of drama. I hope you enjoy what I’ve written. Thanks for reading!

Back to the story

Pin It on Pinterest